Come on everybody, he just wants to know the touch of a lady before he sinks into the cruel grip of death.

I think everyone can relate to this kid. I know I don’t want to die before knowing physical love, but I’m healthy. There’s still time, everybody!! For me, that is… but probably not for Jason.

I have arranged through my parish to take a trip to Hedonism, a Caribbean resort that offers the intimate company of attractive young women for a fair, all inclusive price. This may be my only option right now and it’s what I keep going for.

Here’s hoping Hedonism is all it promises. (Though from that website, it looks like he may need to provide his own partner, but maybe I didn’t look closely enough.)

Thanks for spreading the word, Stranger.